The Flawless, The Moaners, The Over-Sharers

I’m fairly certain that we all get irked by particular things when it comes to social media. These are the ones that gripe me the most…

The Flawless

Y’know the person. The one who has it all. The one who is always smiling and posting enviable status’, talking about this holiday, or that amazing gesture, or how well behaved their kids are, or how stupendous their job is, or how they married Brad Pitt when Angelina wasn’t looking, or taking immaculate selfies, looking oh-so-stylish.

Come on. Be bitter with me here.

Those people who succeed in making you feel like your life falls short of expectations.

The ones who you think don’t shout at their kids, or argue with their partners, or ever look a bit shit when they leave the house, who have endless pots of money to do as they please.

Nah. They are just like you and me. They just lie. Or omit the truth. Depending on how gracious you feel.

But then there are the other ones…

The Moaner

…the one who is SO HARD DONE BY.

Their partner is awful, their kids are horrendous, their family are useless, how they are so broke they can’t afford to do anything (except smoke and drink and go to shitty places for food, seriously, Harvester every week if you’re broke? I don’t think so, come talk to me about being skint), they can’t get a job, or if they can it’s everyone else’s fault it’s so terrible.

THOSE people who are just determined that life is awful.

Though it always makes you ponder ‘if it’s that fucking bad, DO something about it, you moron’. Pfffh.

Again, they are just like you and me. They just focus on the bad. Or perhaps they’re depressed. Again, depends how gracious you want to be.

The Over-Sharers

Now, my friends, this all depends on context. Should you post hourly updates on Twitter, crack on, be my guest. Should you do the same on Facebook, Nooooooonoooonoo.

Similarly, want to show me endless photos of your culinary concoctions? Brilliant! That’s just what Instagram is for. But I don’t want to see it on FB.

It’s all about relevance. And don’t get me started on those people that sync their Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter and Facebook together (I also see mentions of Tumblr and Klout, but I seriously do not have a fucking clue what they are) – if I wanted to see that much of your life I would be your squatter.

Though I must confess to syncing my twitter and instagram, but I think this is generally acceptable because you have to click the link; you have to consciously choose to view.

Yes. The Over-Sharer irritates me just as much as the Flawless and the Moaner.

So, who is worse? Does it even matter? I suppose not.

But, just to clarify, I hope I’m in the middle. I not ashamed to say I aspire to the Flawless, and I like to feel superior to the Moaners. I’m more of a by-stander. I don’t think I post enough of my life on social media for anyone to have an opinion on which category I fall into, (shoot me now if I’m an unaware Over-sharer) which suits me fine. I have enough issues with my own life without anyone else analysing it as well.

I’ve also known so many people on both sides I don’t want to be associated with either. They’re both bull-shitters.

And let us be clear: I genuinely have nothing better to rant about than this, and quite obviously if it all bothered me that much I would just leave all forms of social media. But I don’t. Because I am just too goddamn nosey.


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