Right. I’ve had enough of moaning to my husband. I’ve had enough of staring at my phone like it’s going to tell me the answers. I’ve had enough of being miserable. I’ve dwelled enough. I’ve teetered on the brink of depression again, and there is no way I’m falling into that cess pit again.
I’m moving forward. This is isn’t where I planned to be, but so what. Can’t change it, so no point complaining about it.
I know what I need to stimulate me: doing things for myself, being creative, using my mind, actively taking care of those around me, and feeling productive.
This is my plan of action:
- Carry on looking for a job (realistically) – it’s not likely, but who knows
- Set targets, ‘by the end of today, I want to…’
- Actively play with my toddler, don’t just do housework (or stare at my phone)
- Get crafty. Little projects to tickle my brain
- Keep blogging. I love this outlet
- Cooking. Go with it. It’s necessary and can be enjoyable (who knew??)
- Start exercise – I don’t really want too, but I know I’ll enjoy it when I do
- Take time for myself. I need to be ‘me’ every week, not just ‘Mummy’
- Put the phone down, it’s really never that important
- Writing. That book is not going to write itself
- Make sure my toenails are always painted. This is critical
Lists have always been my forte. And the fact that I’m writing one shows that I’m getting over this.
Depression always hits like a sledgehammer, and getting up again can just be impossible. I’m just grateful a gossamer thread has been dropped down, and at the moment, it’s just enough to hold onto.